REVIEW: Morbius: Jared Leto’s so-called vampire life is a muddy mess
April 11, 2022
The newest Marvel film, Morbius, was released to theaters on April 1st. The release date is rather ironic because the film itself is a joke. The film suffers from lazy writing, awkward fight scenes, bad acting, and horrible pacing throughout the entirety of its runtime, which clocks in at 94 minutes.
The plot of Morbius follows Micheal Morbius, played by Jared Leto, who is dangerously ill with a rare blood disorder. Determined to save others from the same fate, he attempts to create a cure using “vampire bats”. This cure however causes Micheal to turn into what is basically a Vampire, needing blood to quench his hunger.
The writing is one of the less noticeable problems, but because it isn’t entirely clear if the writing is terrible, or if all of the actors are delivering their lines poorly. Ignoring this, the movie is riddled with the same unfunny one liners and awkward dialog throughout. Also, there are many characters that seem pointless, especially the characters Simon Stroud and Agent Rodrigo, who are two detectives.. These two get basically nothing done the entire film, it feels like they were just thrown in the movie to pad the run time.
Speaking of the acting, nearly all of the performances feel phoned in, especially Jared Leto’s. No one puts any actual emotion into any of the spoken lines throughout the movie.
The fight scenes were laughably bad as well. There were so many sequences of extreme slow motion that just dragged on. These scenes would go on for an absurd amount of time, going back and forth between staring at Morbius’s face and watching somebody run while making accidentally hilarious faces for minutes on end. Not every action sequence was like this however. The others were covered in so much muddy CGI that it was nearly impossible to tell what was actually going on in any of the scenes.
Probably the biggest problem the film has however is that it tries WAY too hard to be scary and edgy. The movie takes itself way too seriously, but at the same time it throws in random jokes that completely ruin the vibe. This is a problem a lot of modern superhero movies have as of recently. Most modern comic book movies attempt to take inspiration from the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy, movies that all take themselves seriously with very few jokes, and try to mix it with a movie like 2016’s “Deadpool”, which is a cleverly goofy movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Instead of making genuinely interesting and original movies with interesting themes, they make a weird combination of a dark and gritty movie, and a comedic funny movie, and these attempts always fall flat on their face.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy watching Morbius. I just enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons. Instead of laughing at its jokes, I was laughing at their terrible deliveries. Instead of being enthralled in an exciting fight sequence, I’d be laughing my butt off because of how accidentally funny the CGI looked.
3/10